i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
