Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
