okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
