no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
