Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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