sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
