Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
