Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
