so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
