Whod you bang
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
