If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
