I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
