Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
