Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
