Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
