On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
