i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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