Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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