he looks like a really good dad on facebook
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
This is my gift to your gina
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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