I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
