yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
