i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
