We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I DEMAND FORESKIN
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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