so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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