btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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