Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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