just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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