why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
