Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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