I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
