I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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