Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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