your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
