Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
