you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
is it fun? or sober?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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