had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
