so explain again why im purple
no
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
