Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
