the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
