The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
