Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
