this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
