One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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