I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
