I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
