we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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