Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
