I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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