i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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