the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
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