Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
