I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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