READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
