you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
