I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
