i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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