Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
