Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
