the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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